The first great conspiracy of the new decade is in full-tilt, courtesy of blackbirds nose-diving to earth on a sudden, unexpected journey to the other side.
Thousands of birds started raining down on New Year’s Eve in Arkansas, followed by mass waves of dying blackbirds in Louisiana, Tennessee, and Kentucky.
I have heard talk in grocery lines, on the radio, in print, and on TV, it must be a firm sign the end is near? What else could explain the sudden mass migration of death other than an apocalypse?
The answer must be buried in the Bible.
“‘There is no prophecy in the Bible about birds falling from the sky,’” Bart D. Ehrman, a religious studies professor told the Associated Press. Ehrman if anyone should know he teaches a class on “Apocalypse Now and Then,” at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Okay, Then it surely must be a government controlled experiment gone bad or little martian men from Planet Conspiracy.
“‘I think its safe to say that there was no secret conspiracy by anyone,’” Thurman Booth, a wildlife services director in Arkansas, told the Associated Press.
My final thought, those birds surely must have been drinking Jim Jones tainted jungle juice, na, they were way too young to remember Jim Jones. Wait a minute, we are talking blackbirds, what am I thinking? Still go ahead and try to debunk that.
On second thought, I waited so long to compose this piece, science has already come up with a plausible answer.
The loud boom boom from a fireworks show in Arkansas left the birds so disoriented they started crashing into houses, trees and cars.
Okay, but what happened in the other states, they wouldn’t be trying to pull the wool over me, would they?
(By the way this is a great time of year for bird watching, yes, the ones that are alive are still flying you can see and learn more by clicking on Rock The Capital.)
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