PublicK NuisancE: Holiday Roundup

Posted by By at 16 December, at 08 : 30 AM Print

Pat Carroll

Happy Christmas to all, and Happy Slavery to the great states of the Confederacy celebrating the 150th anniversary of their attempt to exit the U.S. For those of like mind, South Carolina’s inaugural Secession Ball is Dec. 20 at Charleston’s Gaillard Municipal Auditorium. Tickets are $100.

The Secession Ball is particularly poignant this season because of the way we want to treat soldiers who act against American interests, as defined by the federal government.

Yeah, I’m talking WikiLeaks.

“They should be tried, convicted (if guilty, obviously), and shot. It is that simple,” wrote one distinguished RTC commentator recently.


Considering that 150 years ago, a soldier in the U.S. Army, one Robert E. Lee — a West Pointer who took up arms against his country and led thousands of boys to their deaths — was summarily tried, convicted and shot, I don’t think we have any choice. It is that simple. Shoot the bastard.

Oh, wait. This just in: even though General Lee knew he was hurting the United States and aiding its enemies, he wasn’t tried and shot. He went home to his palatial estate. But then Lee was an officer, and the Army private who downloaded the semi-secret docs and gave them to WikiLeaks is just an enlisted man. So again, shoot him.

As for the man who published the cables on WikiLeaks, Julian Assange, he should get a month in jail for making public a small portion of our actionable intelligence. Because that’s what White House henchman Scooter Libby got for making public the identity of an active Central Intelligence Agency officer, eliminating her effectiveness and endangering her life.
Consider that diplomats, like lawyers, lie for a living. To this charming skill-set, politicians add hyperbole leading to hysteria. None of it brings understanding of the significance of the hundreds of diplomatic documents now in play on the internet, or the thousands yet to come from WikiLeaks.

If anyone is capable of discerning that significance and prudently handling its consequences, it’s probably an experienced, traditional, old-school news organization like the New York Times. You gotta trust somebody. My money’s on the Times.

Not so the Teabag member from Florida, the Honorable Rep.-elect Allen West. He is proposing, in light of the WikiLeaks uproar, that the federal government … censor news organizations.  First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution? Huh? What? Who cares?

Because, well, truth is treason.


In other news, hangovers abound in Harrisburg as members of the political class return from a weekend of carousing in Manhattan at the annual Pennsylvania Society celebration.

At least one lobbying group, the Marcellus Shale Coalition, got to drink with the Republican politicians it bought in a small hotel behind the Waldorf, according to Donald Gilliland of The Patriot News. Bottoms up, fellas.  Next year should be a gas gas gas.


Meanwhile in Penn’s Woods, hunters gather daily for the thrill of killing a live animal. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The economy of Pennsylvania’s northern tier is based on the housing and ammo needs of people killing animals for fun.

Which is why I don’t understand the dozen Bubbas we passed on the way into Pinchot State Park the other day. The woods outside of Dillsburg are thin stuff compared to the forests of Potter County or Warren County, and there aren’t nearly as many animals here. Are these guys too lazy to drive up north?

Is that why they’re gathering here, on the trails at Pinchot where we walk our dog? Is that why hikers have to orange-up? And why the trails? Isn’t the game in the woods? I’ve been walking these trails for a lot of years, and I can count on one hand the animals I’ve seen well enough to shoot, if I wanted to.

Because I am not against shooting and dressing a deer, letting it hang, fabricating the meat, marinating it for two days, searing it on the grill and finishing in the oven. Or maybe doing a slow braise with carrots and potatoes. Fine with me. We are animals who eat other animals.

What I don’t like is killing small residents of the planet for a cheap thrill.

(According to an ABC poll the majority of Americans favor harsh punishment Assange as he sits in jail — to read more about it follow Rock The Capital right this way.)

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Pat Carroll has worked as a writer and editor for newspapers and television for three decades. His checkered career path also included gigs as a personal chef, iron pourer, dishwasher and commercial real estate appraiser. He writes now only to finance his golf addiction. - Email Patt Carroll

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